Cheating is one of the cruel truths of life, it has happened with all of us at some point in time and it is very necessary in order to grow and learn how to deal with people and to know who to trust. When we first fall in love, we are very vulnerable, when we slowly go through these harsh realities is when we learn to be stronger as individuals and to better deal with people and life’s tough events. This article is going to be for those who have been cheated on and don’t know how to deal with it, don’t lose your mind over it, I know it’s a very difficult spot to be in (I’ve been in it myself) but you’ll get through it. This is going to be a step-by-step article on what to do if you get cheated on by your partner. Let’s begin.
So you just found out you were cheated on by the person you’ve spent months or years with and were so in love with, breathe! Take some time out for yourself, do not do anything rash, do not take any sudden decisions and relax. It has happened, you can’t do anything about it to reverse the event, you can’t be “uncheated” on, you probably have a thousand questions boiling up in your mind and your life might seem life it’s suddenly just paused, but you need to be strong here. You need to understand that there are a lot of things you need to do before you can even confront your partner about it, because if you confront them in anger you won’t really get anything out of them except for a “sorry” or “it was a mistake and it’ll never happen again”. So calm down, take a deep breath and spend some time alone to calm your nerves first.
Step 2 – Talk to your most trusted person
We all have one person who we trust more than everyone else, who’s always there when no one seems to care and who will never let us down. It could be a family member or the closest of friends, I have mine (he’s my best friend) and I’m sure you have yours. We often go to them for advice or for peace of mind, when we need to talk something out, something no one else is willing to hear. Go to your trusted person, tell them everything, because it’s very important that you share the feelings with someone, if you stay alone for too long with so many questions in your head you’re going to have horrible side effects on your health and well-being. Talk it out with your best buddy or the family member you always confide in, it’ll help you feel a little bit better, you’ll feel like a huge burden on your shoulders has just been shared and you don’t hold it alone anymore.
Step 3 – Avoid blaming yourself
When we love someone a little too much and they still cheat on us, we often start blaming ourselves because we love them too much to blame them. Don’t let yourself be put in that position. You were cheated on, something unjust was done to you, don’t be unjust with yourself. You need to strengthen yourself right now, not make yourself weaker by asking yourself a million questions like “Is it my fault?”, “Did I do something to make this happen?”, “Did I treat them badly?”. You can analyze the situation later, right now just try your best to make yourself strong. You are your worst enemy if you want to be.
Step 4 – Confront your partner
This is going to be the hardest step of all, the confrontation. Talk it out, all of it, let them know exactly how this whole scenario has made you feel but try your level best not to show weakness, you can’t be weak during the confrontation. Tell them exactly how this has affected you and how you feel, don’t leave anything inside and lay it all out in front of them. It might just be a misunderstanding if you’re lucky, and they’ll clear it right there and then. If it was actually more than a misunderstanding, then they’ll start talking about how and why it happened. If they cherish their relationship with you, they will show a lot of weakness, they will apologize, but you still have to remain strong for the next step.
Step 5 – Analyze the situation
Now it’s your turn to sit and think about the entire situation. You know everything, it’s all in front of you and nothing is hidden anymore. Now it’s up to you to analyze the situation, how bad was the entire thing? Can it be reversed? Can you forgive them? Generally, when it comes to small lies or minor events, people tend to forgive in order to save the relationship, but in more brutal cases where things are just ugly, people decide to let go and move on alone. Was it really that bad? Can you forgive them? Now that you know everything, it’s time for the most important step of the process.
Step 6 – TakeВ a decision and stand by it
So, can you forgive them? If the answer is “yes”, move on to step 7. If the answer is “no” because the situation was just too horrid to even forgive, you need to muster up the courage to let them go and to find someone who can really cherish you, enough to never let something so horrible happen. But if you choose to move on and break things up with them, make sure you stand by your decision to never take them back, if you don’t think you’re strong enough to live without them, you need to consider the next step.
Step 7 – Forgive them, and mean it
If you’ve decided to forgive them, make sure you really mean it. Don’t say “it’s okay” if you still feel empty inside. Take as much time as you need but don’t be okay with them unless you’re actually okay with them, faking it will only damage the relationship internally and will increase the distance between the two of you. Remember that we are all human, we make mistakes, it’s the most divine thing in the world to forgive someone and never mention it again. If you decide to take this path, make sure you do it the pure way.