It doesn’t have to end this way…
Nothing good in life comes easy, you have to fight for what you love – always. If it’s too easy, it’s not going to last for long because the world isn’t that easy, challenges and obstacles are something everyone has to face at some point in life, even the most powerful of people have had the darkest of pasts, the success stories are all in front of us. The biggest rap moguls of today had to sell drugs to survive, life becomes good to them who struggle and don’t give up, the same theory applies to good relationships.
6. Accept the difficult time
The first thing both of you need to do is accept the fact that things aren’t going great between the two of you, don’t ignore the rough patch and don’t try denying it, you can’t come out of it unless you accept the fact that you’re in it. There’s no shame in having problems with someone you love very dearly, for we are all human, we all have our flaws and our problems, and when two people meet they are bound to have disagreements and arguments. Accept the bad time and then work on coming out of it, together.
5. Talk about it
After you’ve accepted the fact that you two are going through a difficult patch, it’s time to talk about it. The two of you know each other better than anyone else, you know everything about each other, you can talk about your problems with each other. Spend some time together, talk about the roots of the problem, talk about the cause of the problem.
Try to establish a point where all of this started, the day or time when the differences began taking over the two of you, talk about the distance that’s being created because of those differences, talk about how destructive it is to let the distance get bigger between the two of you. And don’t bring anger to the table, the two of you need to be as calm and as receptive as possible, you both will be very vulnerable that day.
4. Keep the positivity alive
While the two of you are trying to come out of the rough patch, don’t give room to any negative thoughts whatsoever. It’s vital, very vital, to stay positive at all costs. Do not think about anything bad, although you will because you’re in a very dark place, but fight it off as much as you can. Your mind will try to go a thousand different directions, some of them may also be very destructive for you and your relationship, don’t give life to those ideas and shove them away.
My girlfriend and I were going through a very rough patch, but I had her painting hanging on my wall, the painting she made for me for my birthday, I used to look at it at any sign of negativity because looking at that beautiful painting made me think of the good times and it helped me fight the negative thoughts, think of the good times.
3. Don’t let that “evil voice” take over
You all know what I’m talking about, we all have an evil voice in our heads sometimes and it becomes very strong and powerful when we are going through a difficult phase in life. That voice is going to tell you to leave your partner, it’s going to tell you to stop worrying so much about losing them, it’s even going to tell you to look for other people, DO NOT LISTEN TO IT!
It’s sort of a fail-safe for us, that selfish voice that wants us to be safe and happy no matter what it does to the other person. You always need to think about each other, the actions you take have a direct impact on your partner, don’t be selfish and don’t listen to the evil voice within you.
2. Connect on an emotional level
Sometimes, rough patches happen because one partner isn’t able to be as emotionally present as the other partner, which makes the other partner feel like their emotions are going to waste. This has happened with me and I was at a horrible place where I didn’t know whether I loved them enough to let their lack of emotions slide or if I love myself enough to not receive love on the level I deserve.
I was trapped in a very traumatic place where I was at war with my own self, that same evil voice kept telling me to give up and find someone who would be as emotional with me as I was to her, but I didn’t let it take control of my mind, I kicked it out and I talked about the lack of emotions with my girlfriend, and that’s how we got out of our rough patch. You need to both be able to communicate on an emotional level.
1. Bring a third person in
We all have that one friend who loves our relationship and wants to see it blossom, that one supportive friend who’s always there to fix things between us and our partners whenever something bad happens. There is no shame in asking for their help at this point, when all else has failed you. Sometimes, having someone present is important, because maybe they can spot something the two of you have missed out.
I’ve done it countless times because when I’m angry I don’t trust my judgement enough, so I let someone else decide, someone who knows the sort of person I am.